Infantile Faith

“Anyone who wants to serve me must follow me, because my servants must be where I am.”  John 12:26 (NLT)


In one of the first Psychology courses I took in college I learned something exists to an infant only within the realm of their five senses.  In other words, anything that does not trigger their sense of sight, hearing, taste, touch, or smell doesn’t exist.  When an infant cries, mom appears.  She exists because I cry.  When mom leaves the room she no longer exists.  I can make her exist again by crying again.

In my effort to always be in the presence of Jesus, I have come to the sad realization I’m a baby.  I ascend to the fact that Jesus exists outside myself but I don’t behave that way.  Throughout my life I’ve cried and he appears.  I call and he answers.  The way I act, he only exists when I want him to.  That is so very wrong.  If I want to mature in Christ I have to turn that around—I answer when he calls.  I exist for him, not him for me.  He leads, I follow.  I don’t take him to Walmart; He takes me.  Jesus doesn’t go to church with me, I go to church with him.  Perhaps this requires a level of surrender I haven’t reached, yet.


In my effort to be in the presence of Jesus, am I beckoning him or am I seeking to follow him?  When I go to my garden, do I say to Jesus, “Let’s go to the garden.”  Or, do I go to the garden when Jesus says, “Let’s go to the garden.”  I have to go to the garden to know the needs of the garden.  Jesus takes me to the garden when the garden needs something.  My struggle has always been between being a “man” and doing all that I can vs. accepting the words of Jesus urging me to trust him as a “child”.

The Lord is My Shepherd

I want to serve Jesus with my whole being.  To do that I must be where he is and not him being where I am.  Today, I begin.